Some people are just clueless when it comes to buying gifts for the holidays; these are just some of the gifts I would hate to get for Christmas, or any other occasion for that matter, your better off giving me a lump of coal.
Why does it seem like all bad gift ideas have something to do with alcohol?
Beer Pager
Who doesn’t enjoy a nice backyard BBQ and a cold beer, but have you ever found yourself wondering where the hell did my beer go? This solves all your problems. You can hook your beer up to this paging device, set it down, and then spend the rest of the afternoon in search of the teeny remote to make the entire contraption work. Genius!
Wine Rack
Gals who want their cups to runneth over can now sip on the sly, thanks to a sports bra that disguises some whopping jugs. Equipped with a drinking tube that’s connected to the right cup, the sports bra holds up to 25 ounces of a beverage while giving ladies a plastic surgery-like lift of up to two sizes.
“It’s not like one boob fills up and the other goes flat,” says Paul Krasulja, of Baronbob.com. “I made my girlfriend put it on, and she looked good.” The Wine Bra sells for $29.95.
The Cellphone Flask
Really? You know if you carry one of these around you may have a serious problem. This creation is a flask disguised as a cellphone. It’s too bad that it looks nothing like a real phone so you won’t be fooling anyone. This is a good idea gone horribly wrong!
Animal wine racks
These sleek wine racks not only holds your bottle, but it also looks like Rudolph and his reindeer buddies are guzzling your booze. Practical and comical, we still can’t believe someone actually sells these. If your favorite animal isn’t pictured, the contraption also comes in ‘black lab’ and ‘bass fish’ models.
Available for under $30.00
Candwich
Sure, some things taste amazing from a can – soup and beans, for example. But a sandwich? Not so much. But that didn’t deter Mark One Foods from taking a perfectly delicious creation, if you’re too lazy to make a sandwich or worry your canned Coke will flatten it in your Alf lunchbox, there’s Candwiches. Canwiches are canned sandwiches, which come in PB&Strawberry J, PB&Grape J, and Barbecue.
Product Site
Product Site
Pepper Mouth
Emailers beware: your online potty mouth could now get you a nasty dose of Pepper Mouth. The new device, which plugs into a computer’s USB port, is a stink bomb canister designed to emit foul smells when swear words are used. It is intended to teach people that using bad language in emails can pose serious risks.
Rice bra
You might call it the wondrous bra. Japanese urban farmers who wear the gimmicky new undergarment can grow their own rice in recyclable plastic pots that double as the cups. The pots can be filled with soil and rice seedlings, and the wearer waters the rice with a hose that doubles as a belt that loops around the waist.
Better Marriage Blanket (keeps that flatulence odor away!)
It sounds like a gag gift, but the Better Marriage Blanket is meant to keep you from gagging – if you’re on the receiving end of the silent-but-deadly problem it’s designed to combat – your bedmate’s flatulence. Here’s the problem though: just because you can’t smell the gas, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Wouldn’t you rather just give your lover some Gas-X?
Pooping Reindeer Candy Dispenser
With Christmas just around the corner, it makes perfect sense if you want to make sure your home is as Christmassy as possible. Enter the Pooping Reindeer Candy Dispenser, where the name itself says it all. With a likeness of Rudolph who owns a glowing, red nose, where pushing it will produce candy.
Santa Peeing Liquor Dispenser
Forget all notions about Santa being the perfect gentleman – here he is in all of his naughty glory, coming in the form of the Santa Peeing Liquor Dispenser. He will definitely do his bit in helping you get into the holiday spirits, where his present to you is to be on call whenever you need a shot of alcohol.
Only $14.95
